We all have parenting dreams of well-adjusted, talented children. We want to see our kids have good friends, do well at school and be involved in other activities. However as we pursue these good things it is easy for even the most loving parent to have a critical and negative parenting style.
Parenting through Negativity Hurts your Kids
The problem with parenting through negativity is that it hurts our kids and causes them to go into their shell. This kind of parenting can lead to your kids not feeling adequate and incapable of doing the right thing. Kids have enough pressure and competition in their lives without feeling a lot more from you. Remember the sky is the limit for your kids and they live in a world telling them they can’t do it. So as their parent you can be the voice that tells them that they can do it. That if they work hard enough they can accomplish the task before them whatever it is. I know I have had days where I have looked back and been ashamed at how negative I was with my kids.
Parenting through Positivity Builds up your Kids
Parenting with a positive spirit builds a confidence in your kids. It helps them know the right things to do and helps them focus on what they do right not on what they do wrong. As your parenting becomes more positive you are also going to see your kids draw closer to you. They will be excited to be around you because your parenting makes them feel good. They will know you believe in them and they will also want to do better. The other great thing from positive parenting is that your kids will listen more when you give them negative feedback. This is because they will learn that when you area negative it must be really important because you don’t often interact with them that way.
Evidence also points that individuals raise to the expectations on them. If we as parents place negative expectations on kids and tear them down then they will surely live up to those. However if you place on them positive expectations then they will also become more like that. This simply happens by you parenting in a way that points out the good things your kids do rather than the wrong things.
Tips for Parenting through Positivity
1. Make a goal to make more positive comments than negative each day. Perhaps you can make it a game with your spouse for who can make the most positive comments on a particular day. Just make sure you point out the good things your kids do. Re-enforce the behaviors you want in your kids.
2. Make positivity a core value of your home. If you do your kids will start to call you out when you are being to negative. Kids know the difference and they will have fun holding you accountable.
3. Each night at bedtime tell your kids two or more positive things they did that day. In doing this you have a precious bedtime experience. Your kids also go to bed encouraged.
4. Always be genuine and don’t flatter your kids. If you make things up or praised them for something that really doesn’t need to be praised you dilute the power of being positive. Honestly for some kids you may have to look harder for things to praise. Always take the time to do it. The more you do the easier it will become.
Parenting through positivity is only going to help your family and build up your kids in a healthy way. I have heard it said that for every negative thing we say to someone we should say five positive things. If you shoot for this in your parenting you will be amazed at how your kids will grow. Not only that but your home will be a much more pleasant place to live!
Your turn:How has being positive helped your family?